Ex jokes

i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)

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What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex? A roTHOT

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Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we’re through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain’t gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

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Can’t anyone relate to this? BEAT WATERSHARKY!!! -Oops!-By- Air Attack Productions and Yung Gravy-Ayy, supercalifragilisticexpiali dope shit Supercalifragi lick my ex be on some ho shit Superman, I get dem bands but ain’t gon’ buy you roses Super-duper get them cougars, took my wrist and froze it Super-duper hoes Y’all got Oompa Loompa hoes

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I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it

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ex-bf’s gf: your so ugly as hell me: oh did I mention that i was trying to be you

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

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I hate family reunions I see too many of my ex’s there

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“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”

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Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.

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