Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”??
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT. (I capitalized important parts of the joke)
What did the snail say to his ex-wife? I’m still leaving you!
When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room
I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips
Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
Words that have ho in them: Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck… On the plus side my truck doesn’t even have a dent.
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