some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn’t shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane? Time’s up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it. How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door? Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door. Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators. How did she survive? Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
my ex missis me but her aim is geting better
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit
My ex is like aids!!! I can’t get rid of him How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.
MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY. i ASKED HER WHY. sHE SAID, BECAUSE YOU’RE A PEDOPHILE. I REPLIED, “PEDOPHILE! THAT’S A BIG WORD FOR AN EIGHT YEAR OLD.” I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
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