Best Jokes

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8 August: Top today:

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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Waiting jokes
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What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!

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Job jokes
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When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

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Green jokes
8 August: Computer jokes:

Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

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What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

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Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

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8 August: Fat jokes:

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

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Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***

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8 August: Sea jokes:

Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

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Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

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8 August: Transport jokes:

"Most Deadly Sport" Playing chicken with a Train!

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8 August: Doctors jokes:

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink … when he finished the doctor told him: from now on take off the spoon.

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Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: I’ve got u flowers Patient: Awww, What’s the bad news? Doctor: They’re for your grave

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8 August: Stairs jokes:

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef

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What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs? … A boner…

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8 August: Family jokes:

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”

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You have to do this and my sister said well I don’t care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.

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8 August: Dark Humor:

I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

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If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

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8 August: Puns jokes:

Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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