Best Jokes

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl

Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

You don’t have a forehead you have a five head.

You don’t have dreams you have movies.

Whats the difference between a feminist and a pencil? One of them has a POINT:)

What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

This isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.

My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists

If you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.

So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can’t be with her because it’s illegal to marry your sister.

How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.

So I’m banging the f@ck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the f@ck does an eight year old get AIDS? !” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

Yo mama, so ugly she’s the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “f@ck fight”

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Jack took jill up a hill to have a picknic but jack and jill got drunk they then jill unzipped jacks fly then said you know you want me to he said yes so she took off her dress and bra jack took his pants and shirt off to they both went in the well together and playd a game jacks candy stick in jills candy stick next jill was suking jacks candy stick while jack licked htm title=' sat on jacks candy stick while making out'>and sucked her candy stick then jill sat on jacks candy stick while making out

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.