Best Jokes

I saw a kid crying and i asked him where his parents were… Man i love working at a Orphanige

What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang…

I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

So theres a orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”

Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!

Why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

Wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

What is 14 inches long and starts with D

A Dookie From GREEN DAY

Green beans potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me

Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?

Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!

YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.

And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.

Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!

I’ve been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.

Place some more ender eyes, and it’s time to big surprise.

So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” I asked him. He answered “A doctor!”. I wanted to tease him so i said “I wouldn’t be treated by a doctor like you”. I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied “Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet”

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one

YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN

I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

Why can’t people in wheelchairs pass high school? The pacer test.